Jamie Foxx tells Miley Cyrus to make a sex tape

"Who is Miley Cyrus?" an incredulous Foxx, who has a teenage daughter of his own, said. "The one with all the gums? She gotta get a gum transplant...S--t."
"She's gonna ruin Radiohead's career? The same Radiohead that gets paid a million dollars just to sample their songs?
"Make a sex tape and grow up," he continued. "Get like Britney Spears and do some heroin. Do like Lindsay Lohan and start seeing a lesbian and get some crack in your pipe. Catch Chlamydia on a bicycle seat. That's what I want."

While I don't know if it's necessarily a smart career move to tell a 16-year-old Disney cash cow to make a sex tape, I do know one thing: I am done riding bicycles naked. Done. This is exactly what happens when you try to go green, folks. BAM! Venereal disease. Get the word out.